Venetian Snares - Detrimentalist

If you’re not a fan of “intelligent dance music” (i.e. Venetian Snares, Aphex Twin, Squarepusher, Autechre, etc.), then you can just skip this review, unless you’ve never heard of IDM and want try some new music. Venetian Snares is one of my favorite IDM artists, because his stuff is so unique, even within the genre. However, I was disappointed by his previous release, My Downfall (Original Soundtrack), which sounded like a weaker version of Rossz csillag alatt született.

Now, he’s back with Detrimentalist, which more than makes up for My Downfall. Interestingly enough, rather than exploring new ground, he’s really gone old school with this one, incorporating a lot of typical drum and bass (Gentleman) and acid (Flashforward) sounds. There’s even some Hoover (Circle Pit) thrown in for good measure. Giving these classic sounds his modern Venetian Snares twist, he makes an incredibly listenable album. Highly recommended, pick it up wherever it is you get albums.

If you like it, I also recommend his albums Rossz csillag alatt született (a classical twist on IDM) and Cavalcade of Glee and Dadaist Happy Hardcore Pom Poms (I especially like Pwntendo, made entirely with a synthesizer that actually uses the original sound chip from the NES).

You can listen to MP3s of this album at the record label’s site, Planet Mu Records.

Classical roller coaster

For fans of classical music. Might have to turn your volume up a little.

Ads from the 70s

I came across a book entitled The Golden Age of Advertising - The 70s. Apparently, it’s one in a series of books detailing advertisements from different decades. The 70s volume is, as you would expect, amazingly hilarious. It’s crazy that this stuff is nearly 40 years old. The world has definitely gone in a less amusing direction since then. I scanned quite a few ads, so I have them on a separate page after the jump. Also, since the 70s were wild and sexy, a lot of these aren’t safe for work, so don’t view these if viewing drug paraphenalia or men wearing nothing but socks could get you in trouble.

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Chinese George Costanza

I usually avoid reposting links that have already been picked up by huge link websites like Digg, but I’m doing it anyway.

In an act of moral foolhardiness, Fan Meizhong set out on a blog his guiding principle: in matters of life and death, it’s every man for himself.

When the quake struck, rather than overseeing an orderly evacuation, he said he just shouted “Stay calm, it’s an earthquake!” and ran for it without looking back to see if his pupils were following.

“I ran towards the stairs so fast that I stumbled and fell as I went. When I reached the centre of the football pitch, I found I was the first to escape. None of my pupils was with me,” wrote the man now known across China as ‘Runner Fan’.

[...]

His explanation was simple. “I have a very strong sense of self-preservation,” he said. “I have never been a brave man and I’m only really concerned about myself.”

Sounds like Mr. Meizhong is a student of the George Costanza school of survival.

Three things that blow my mind

Click on the pics to see the larger version (if there is one).

The mall

This mall was weird. It wasn’t enough for these people to make a mall the typical way, with just stores and a food court. There was crazy stuff like this all over the walls. And to kick it up a notch, not only did they put random stuff on the walls, but they had to bend it in weird ways and perspective distortions, making you wonder whether or not someone spiked your Chick-fil-A lemonade with acid. If the point of this mall was to get people not to buy stuff, because they have to leave early from the neck cramps they get from gawking at all the weird shit on the wall, then they’ve succeeded brilliantly.

Expensive wine

I’m not talking about wine that goes for $50 or $100 a bottle. I’m specifically referring to this huge bottle of wine I saw at Central Market that’s going for $2000. Yes, that is what the “1,969″ means, it’s definitely dollars. There wasn’t any information about it that I could find. I realize there are expensive wines out there, and obviously a big bottle of expensive wine is going to be proportionally expensive, but then, what’s the point of this big bottle? If you want that much of a certain wine, then here’s a novel idea: Buy multiple bottles of it. Getting stuck with $2k worth of wine seems idiotic, but what do I know, I’m not a wine connoisseur. “I spent $2000 on this bottle of wine” sounds rich and classy. “I spent $2000 on 20 bottles of the same wine” sounds like you need rehab.

Dog bakeries

A dog bakery is a place that takes a 99 cent dog treat, makes it look like a human baked good (that you still can’t eat), and then charges you $10 for it. Why didn’t I tap into this niche market before it became big? I have no idea.

I seriously doubt that anyone who buys from a dog bakery actually owns a dog. If they did, they’d know that dogs don’t care whether or not their food looks like cannoli, because they’re too busy eating it. Also, they eat their own crap, so “gourmet quality” means nothing to a dog.

Unfortunately, this particular dog bakery was closed, so I wasn’t able to go inside. I imagine they have disclaimers all over the place, saying that their products aren’t for human consumption. Otherwise, you’d have people thinking “Hm, the Groovy Dog Bakery, a bakery for dogs. Ohhh, I get it, a bakery for dawgs. I’m pretty cool, like the dog wearing sunglasses on the sign. I should eat here”. And then they complain that their $10 strawberry shortcake tastes like dog food, while the owner confusingly explains that none of their food is supposed to be eaten.

Settlers of Catan

Settlers of Catan is a board game, and a very awesome one at that. “How can a board game be more awesome than any other one?”, you ask. “Aren’t all board games pretty much variations of the same thing?”. If you truly believe this, then I won’t get through to you, and you can go back to playing Monopoly or whatever. Board games, like cuisine and fashion, have finer sides that take a refined taste to appreciate. If you think I’m being overly pretentious, then once again, this probably isn’t the board game for you. However, if you’re interested in learning about the better side of board gaming, keep reading.

Settlers is called a “German-style board game“, which basically means it doesn’t suck. “German-style board game” is a very general term that says nothing, since not all German-style board games are German and the mechanics of these games have nothing to do with Germany. However, a number of these games, Settlers included, did originate in Germany. These games are characterized by the fact that they’re themed, that is, the game isn’t just a set of rules where you roll the dice and move on a board to gain points, but there’s actually a backstory to the game. In Settlers, you and everyone you’re playing with play the role of the aforementioned settlers, settling the aforementioned island of Catan.

These games usually have very simple, short rules, as opposed to more complex games like Risk or Monopoly, where nobody can ever agree on the rules, and everyone goes home mad at each other. However, although the rules are simple, the gameplay still involves quite a bit of strategy. Gameplay in Settlers involves receiving and trading for resources, such as lumber and grain, in order to build roads and cities, which earn the player points.

The Wiki entry (Settlers of Catan) goes into detail about the game, so if you’re still interested, check it out. The point of this post was to bring something to your attention so you’d check it out yourself, not to spell it all out for you. A short summary of the rules is available here. “What’s the point of checking all this out, since I don’t want to buy a game I’ve never played before?”. No worries, this is the Internet. You can play Settlers online here (Java required, but we all have that, right?). All you have to do is sign up for a free user account and you’re ready to go. They call the game Xplorers, but it’s the exact same game, trust me. Just click Play on the left side and go to one of the non-ranking rooms under Xplorers. You can play against bots if you’re trying to get the hang of the game. You’ll find me there with the username V64 (of course).

Weird dreams

I just woke up and had some unusually strange dreams.

Some coworkers and I would find an unused room in our office building and all get drunk during the work day. One day, our boss, Jay Leno, catches us and yells at us. He goes off on a rant that sounds like a Tonight Show monologue about young people, so we’re trying not to laugh. He is holding hands with what appears to be a man in drag, but Jay thinks he’s a woman. Later, we hear some yelling when Jay finds out the truth.

I was at my house and found an old medical file about me from when I was young, around 2 years old. It said that due to my behavior toward others in daycare, I had been labeled as insane. I remember the doctor had written a note saying “Based on my observations of him, he exhibited all the telltale signs”. The levels of insanity were graded from a sad face being the worst to a happy face being normal. All my boxes had sad faces stamped in them. Apparently the doctor had no hope, but I came out fine and didn’t remember it at all.

My dad was making a serious attempt at trying to break the world record for most raviolis cooked and eaten in 10 minutes. He didn’t think he would break the record toward the end, because time was almost out and he still had one more batch cooking, but he was willing to eat them half-cooked for the record. However, distracted by excitement, he forgot to set up the video camera at the beginning, and so the attempt didn’t count.

Feel free to draw your own psychoanalytical conclusions.

Twitter

Does anyone actually use Twitter? If you don’t know what it is, it’s best described as an entire website based on Facebook’s status message feature. You sign up, you have a friends list, and then you have a friends page that consists of all your friends’ statuses. The statuses are all short since the site imposes a maximum limit of 140 characters. Not only can you update your status online, but you can also update it with a text message from your phone, giving all your Twitter friends instant coverage of the homeless guy you just saw or the amazing sale going on at Macy’s. The New York Times calls it “one of the fastest-growing phenomena on the Internet”. It’s been around for 2 years now. Wiki says everybody uses it, including the presidential candidates and CNN.

Am I missing something here? When I want to read CNN, there’s this awesome site called CNN.com that lets me read more than 140 characters of news. I don’t feel compelled to send a text message and update my Twitter friends everytime I’m about to use the bathroom. “omg just got caught at a red light wait it’s green now bbl”.

Before you accuse me of “you just don’t get it until you try it”, I did sign up. You are free to find me and subscribe to my statuses, but it’s more likely that hell will freeze over before I use the site again. There’s a public log of all the messages people have put up, here are some gems:

• berylfrohriep i dont ever want to drink ever ever ever again.
• MrsChantlah When I see the name “Bobby” I read it as “Booby” everytime.
• nerdygirl55 I need to take a shower. But I would really rather be reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
• charlielester angelina had the twins
• mikedobbs Now I’m eating a metro fresh turkey sand, chips, coke, and I’m now addicted to twitter, Hmm good.

I think status messages are a great feature on a larger site like Facebook, but having a service completely dedicated to it? Overkill doesn’t even begin to describe what I think of that. I guess the one pro is that I’ll take 140 character mini-messages about nothing over five page rants (with pictures included) about nothing, any day of the week.

If I’m incredibly mistaken and Twitter is actually the best website ever since MySpace, then please let me know what you use it for. I’d hate to be missing out. Really.

Update: Penny-Arcade sums up this post in three panels.

No more bliss

Fort Bliss, the last place in America where 18 year olds could legally buy alcohol, has raised its drinking age to 21. Worse yet, they’re not letting soldiers slip over to Mexico to drink either. There are other places in the world with a drinking age of 21, but you probably couldn’t point them out on a map, or pronounce them. However, don’t forget that alcohol is illegal in Iran, Saudi Arabia, Libya, Sudan, and a number of other places I won’t be going to ever. 21 is better than nothing.

The Chinese invasion

A few weeks ago, Coldplay’s single, Violet Hill, had just been released. They had it available on their website, but obviously it was hard to get on at the time. I finally got a hold of it and put it up on v64.net so my friends could listen to it without having to go through all the bs of finding it on BitTorrent or other filesharing outlets.

I knew my music directory was public, but I really didn’t think much of it until I got an email saying my bandwidth had been exceeded for the month. Considering how I’m allocated 20 gigs a month, and I rarely use over 1, this was troubling, to say the least. I thought my webhosting account had been hacked, but it turns out a Chinese search engine had picked up Violet Hill, along with a few other songs in my music directory. The original file was around 3 megs, so I sent out about 6800 copies of it, all to Chinese IP addresses. Who knows how far it was distributed within China itself.

The Coldplay website was probably blocked by the Great Firewall of China, so if the band suddenly gets popular there, I’ll take the blame. And no, I’m not still hosting the file for you to listen to.