Weird dreams

I just woke up and had some unusually strange dreams.

Some coworkers and I would find an unused room in our office building and all get drunk during the work day. One day, our boss, Jay Leno, catches us and yells at us. He goes off on a rant that sounds like a Tonight Show monologue about young people, so we’re trying not to laugh. He is holding hands with what appears to be a man in drag, but Jay thinks he’s a woman. Later, we hear some yelling when Jay finds out the truth.

I was at my house and found an old medical file about me from when I was young, around 2 years old. It said that due to my behavior toward others in daycare, I had been labeled as insane. I remember the doctor had written a note saying “Based on my observations of him, he exhibited all the telltale signs”. The levels of insanity were graded from a sad face being the worst to a happy face being normal. All my boxes had sad faces stamped in them. Apparently the doctor had no hope, but I came out fine and didn’t remember it at all.

My dad was making a serious attempt at trying to break the world record for most raviolis cooked and eaten in 10 minutes. He didn’t think he would break the record toward the end, because time was almost out and he still had one more batch cooking, but he was willing to eat them half-cooked for the record. However, distracted by excitement, he forgot to set up the video camera at the beginning, and so the attempt didn’t count.

Feel free to draw your own psychoanalytical conclusions.